Keiko: Whew, is it hot out there today!
Kaya: I'll say. Steps High was so sweaty that I could smell her from ten feet away. And let me tell you, horse sweat stinks.
Lizzy: I'm so glad it's nice and cool in here!
McKenna: Oh, as if you should complain, Lizzy. You were sitting on the deck drinking lemonade with Cecile while I was weeding!
Lizzy: That's my POINT, McKenna-- it's too hot to even just sit outside!
Cecile: Be nice to your sister, McKenna.
Keiko: *Gasp*! Look, guys! StoryTeller got us stuff! ...a big bag of stuff!
Keiko: Look at all this loot! Here, I'll hand it to you guys and you can open it!
Lizzy: Jo... see... fee...na's accessories. Who's Josefina?
Cecile: I have no idea. But I'm pretty sure the name Josefina is Hispanic, so it's actually pronounced "Ho-say-FEE-na," because J's in Spanish are pronounced like H's.
Lizzy: Oops, now I feel silly.
Cecile: Don't feel silly, Lizzy! You encountered a name that you didn't recognize and gave your best shot at pronouncing it, and now you learned something new!
Lizzy: Aw, thanks. It's a really pretty name, too.
Keiko: This bag is HUGE! I bet all five of us could fit inside!
McKenna: Quit jabbering and hand us the loot, Keiko! I want to see what StoryTeller got us!
Kaya: Good grief, Mikki, you're impatient today....
Keiko: Here ya go, Mikki!
McKenna: Oof, this box is kinda wobbly...
Kaya: This looks like the kind of dress they wear in Lizzy's Jane Austen movies.
Cecile: Ooh, I love this shawl-thing! I wonder if it's the latest fashion trend?
Lizzy: This necklace is lovely!
McKenna: This hat is awesome!
Keiko: *Blood-curdling scream*
Kaya: Good gravy!
Lizzy: Keiko, what's wrong?
Keiko: There's... there's a GIRL... in a BOX! There's a girl in a box in here!
Cecile: Say what now?
Keiko: Help me get her out, guys!
Lizzy: Is she sleeping?
Kaya: This looks like a cryochamber. I think she's been cryogenically frozen.
Lizzy: F-f-FROZEN? Do you mean she's DEAD?!
Kaya: No, not dead, just in a really deep sleep. Like River in Firefly.
Keiko: *Gasp*! Do you think some secret government assassins are after her because she has awesome super powers?
Kaya: ...Let's hope not.
McKenna: Then let's open it and defrost her!
Cecile: Careful now....
Keiko: When do you think she'll wake up?
McKenna: I think I saw her finger twitch...
Lizzy: She's turning her head!
New girl: *Groan...*
New Girl: *Screams*
*Ear-splitting chorus of screaming*
New Girl: ¿Quién eres? ¿Dónde estoy?
Keiko: Oh, no...
Keiko: This is going to be confusing.
New Girl: ¿Cómo obtuve aquí? ¿Que me trajo aquí?
Cecile: What do you call someone who speaks three languages?
Cecile: Uh-huh. And what do you call someone who speaks two languages?
Cecile: Right. And what do you call someone who speaks one language only?
Keiko and Lizzy: ...?
Keiko: Hey! I'm an American and I speak two languages! --Three, if you count knowing how to say "please," "thank you," and "where's the bathroom" in Japanese as knowing another language. Besides, Cece, YOU'RE an American, too, and you speak lots of languages!
Cecile: That was kind-of my point-- someone who fluently speaks multiple languages in this country is an anomaly. Good thing you have me around to translate, or you'd be stuck-- unless the person was speaking Hawaiian, Nimiipuu, Elvish, or Klingon.
Lizzy: Hey, you never know when we might encounter some Elves...
New Girl: *Crying* ¿Qué pasa si nunca llego a casa? ¿Y si nunca veo mi familia otra vez?
Cecile: ¡Hola! Mi nombre es Cecile Rey. Nosotros le ayudaremos. ¿Cómo te llamas?
New Girl: *Sniff* Mi nombre es Maria Josefina Montoya, pero me puedes llamar Josefina.
Cecile: ¿De dónde eres?
Josefina: Vivo en un rancho cerca de Santa Fe.
Cecile: ¿Qué año es?
Josefina: El año es de 1827.
Cecile: *to group* Okay, guys, her name is Maria Josefina Montoya, but she goes by Josefina. And she's from 1827 and lives outside of Santa Fe on a ranch or farm.
Keiko: She must have fallen through the space-time rift. But how did she end up cryogenically frozen?
Josefina: Estoy muy confundida. ¿Por qué lleva ropa divertida?
Lizzy: What did she say?
Cecile: Um, she thinks our clothes are funny.
Kaya: You'd think your clothes were funny, too, if you'd just fallen through a rift in time and space from another era.
Keiko: *Sigh* Not that all this translating isn't fun and all, but this is going to get tedious and inconvenient really fast.
Keiko: I'll be right back, guys, I've got an idea!
Josefina: ¿Por qué está ella corriendo?
Cecile: Está muy loca.
Keiko: Hey, I understood that last part!
Keiko: Let's see, it should be in one of these accessory boxes somewhere... Ah-HA! I found it!
Keiko: Now, with just a little bit of modifying with my sonic screwdriver....
Sonic screwdriver: *high-pitched buzzing*
Keiko: Presenting my brilliant new invention, the Translator-Inator! To solve all your translating needs!
Lizzy: I'd almost forgotten we had that thing...
Keiko: Here, put it on and let's see if it works!
Josefina: ¿Lo que está diciendo ella?
Cecile: Ella quiere llevar en su cabeza.
Josefina: ¿En mi cabeza? ¡Pero se ve tonto!
Cecile: Muy tonto. ¡Pero pruébelo y vea!
Keiko: Let's see, I'll put it on like this, and adjust this, and turn it on and-- ta-da! What do you think?
Josefina: *In slightly electronic-sounding voice overlaying Spanish* I can understand you! I can hear you in Spanish, and you can hear me in English!
Keiko: Awesome! Eventually, you and Cecile can teach us Spanish, and we can teach you English, but in the meantime, this will help us understand each other so we don't have to rely on Cecile translating for us!
Cecile: Hey, I'm a good translator.
Keiko: You are, but if you're not available, we need some way to be able to talk to her, and her to us.
Cecile: Good point.
Lizzy: Here, I think these are your things. At least, with whatever happened to bring you here, a lot of your stuff came with you!
McKenna: Here's a special box for you to put your little things in. Most of us have one.
Josefina: Aw, thank you! You guys are really nice.
Keiko: Do you remember anything about how you got here?
Josefina: The last thing I remember is that I was pulling weeds out of my garden, and then there was suddenly a flash of light... and then I don't remember anything else.
Keiko: Strange, very strange.... It would be one thing if you had just fallen through the rift, but how did you end up cryogenically frozen? And how did all your things come with you, packed up in little boxes? And if someone is behind it, who?
Keiko: All right, team! No time for sitting around! There are mysteries to be solved here! A million questions that need answers! And we, the time-and-space-traveling gaggle of girls, are going to solve them!
Keiko: TO THE TARDIS! 1827 awaits!
McKenna: Now? I'm still sore from yard work.
Kaya: And I'm still covered in dust and horse hair from grooming Steps High. I kinda need a shower....
Keiko: The TARDIS has a bathroom! Multiple bathrooms, in fact! Shower onboard! Allons-y!
Josefina: What's a TARDIS?
Cecile: It stands for Time And Relative... oh, never mind, it's better to just see it.
Lizzy: Um, guys, shouldn't we at least clean up this mess first?
* * *
How did Josefina get from 1827 New Mexico to 2016 Washington?
Did someone kidnap her, and if so, why?
And why cryogenically freeze her?
Why is there apparently a space-time rift in Keiko and Company's back yard?
Do the girls really have a TARDIS and the ability to time-and-space travel, or is that just a product of their overactive imaginations?
How many words and phrases of another language do you have to know to be able to say you can speak it, anyway? (if you can say Allons-y, does that mean you speak French?)
Does setting up for a photostory remind StoryTeller that she really needs to vacuum her carpet more often?
Can she write the next post in a more timely manner, or will she get sidetracked with life... again?
So many questions, so many answers to discover.
We can't guarantee that we will answer all of them... or any of them, for that matter.
But stay tuned to find out!
* * *
A note from Keiko:
So the Spanish dialogue in this post was generated via Google Translate because StoryTeller was too lazy to translate it herself, even though she's probably capable of some of it.
As such, there may be a few errors or strange translations, and we apologize.
You can go ahead and blame StoryTeller for not translating it by hand.
StoryTeller: Woah there, you are WAY overestimating my translation abilities.
Keiko: You can still blame StoryTeller, because ella es muy vago.
StoryTeller: Hey, I understood THAT.